Those darn whippersnappers!

Alright, so maybe I'm getting older and turning into a bit of a curmudgeon but today while driving home for my lunch break, I noticed something.  I was listening to the classic rock station and heard a song from The Police.  I was listening to the words and it got me thinking that compared to modern day lyrics, this stuff is poetry.

Here's an example of what I mean:

VERSE 1
There's a little black spot on the sun today
It's the same old thing as yesterday
There's a black cat caught in a high tree top
There's a flag-pole rag and the wind won't stop

CHORUS

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

VERSE 2
There's a little black spot on the sun today
It's the same old thing as yesterday
There's a black hat caught in a high tree top
There's a flag-pole rag and the wind won't stop
CHORUS

VERSE 3

There's a fossil that's trapped in a high cliff wall

There's a dead salmon frozen in a waterfall
There's a blue whale beached by a springtime's ebb
There's a butterfly trapped in a spider's web
CHORUS

VERSE 4
There's a king on a throne with his eyes torn out

There's a blind man looking for a shadow of doubt
There's a rich man sleeping on a golden bed
There's a skeleton choking on a crust of bread
CHORUS

VERSE 5
There's a red fox torn by a huntsman's pack
There's a black-winged gull with a broken back
There's a little black spot on the sun today
It's the same old thing as yesterday
FINALE

Now here's an example of a modern day tune that is popular on the radio stations right now:

VERSE 1
I threw a wish in the well,

Don't ask me, I'll never tell

I looked to you as it fell,

And now you're in my way

I'd trade my soul for a wish,

Pennies and dimes for a kiss

I wasn't looking for this,

But now you're in my way

Your stare was holdin',

Ripped jeans, skin was showin'

Hot night, wind was blowin'

Where you think you're going, baby?

CHORUS

Hey, I just met you,

And this is crazy,

But here's my number,

So call me, maybe?

It's hard to look right,

At you baby,

But here's my number,

So call me, maybe?

Hey, I just met you,

And this is crazy,

But here's my number,

So call me, maybe?

And all the other boys,

Try to chase me,

But here's my number,

So call me, maybe? 

Anyway, just an observation, I think we both know which song is King in this contest.

Paranormal Activity and Popcorn

Last night, I went to see the new Paranormal Activity movie with some people from work.  Typically, I would shy away from anything with the number 4 after the title but I've thoroughly enjoyed being scared by these poltergeists-photographed-by-stationary-video-cameras and I wasn't too disappointed by this latest entry.  I will admit that if the concept were butter, the creators of the franchise are beginning to spread it a little too thin.  But, I digress, this is not a movie review...this is merely exposition.

When I go to the movies, I usually don't get snacks or drinks (my bladder can't handle sitting for more than an hour with any sort of liquid jostling around inside my body) but I did bring with me some contraband candy purchased from a gas station.  There's something so wonderfully mischievous about sneaking in candy tucked in a coat pocket.  Although I don't imagine the theater kids would do much if they caught me with a pack of Starbursts in my pocket and I daresay I could probably raise more of a stink than it would be worth if they started frisking me in line at the ticket counter.  Maybe theaters should invest in some sort of candy-detecting system...a confectionary bouncer, if you will.  It could help stimulate the economy if nothing else.

Back to snacks, so there I was with my Starbursts, watching the movie and cracking jokes with my colleagues.  If you do go see this movie, I hope you find yourselves the only group in the place so you can poke fun during the slow scenes.  It really heightens the enjoyment factor by 10...maybe 20 percent.  By the end of the flick though, I was high on sugar.  I had eaten the pack of Starbursts (and drank a medium Coke...I know, I said I usually didn't do that but it seemed like a good idea at the time).  After I emptied my full and uncomfortable bladder, I bade farewell to my colleagues and made the trip home.

Now I was feeling the effects of all the sugar and it wasn't sitting well in my stomach.  I needed something to offset the sugar and so when I got home, I broke into some microwaveable pop corn.  I cooked up the delectable and salty snack and then I sat working on my latest work-in-progress while munching away.  It wasn't long before I realized why I don't typically eat popcorn.  I don't know if it's tactically designed to attack the space between your gums and teeth but sometimes I suspect that was indeed the very idea.  I spent more time picking the kernels from my teeth, finding the gossamer thin shells and searching for the rest of the popcorn carnage in my mouth than eating it. 

I remember reading a story about a lumberjack cutting down a tree and how the sound of his chainsaw biting into the wood was the screaming of the tree as he killed it.  I'm paraphrasing here but I think there are types of food - popcorn being the leader of this particular group - that fight back when we try to eat them.  And I think microwave popcorn is the mercenary of all popcorn.  If it's not attacking your teeth and gums, it's getting caught in the back of your throat and then there's the kernels that didn't pop that cling to the white fluffy bits.  Crunching on those hard nuggets is like stepping on a land mine with your mouth.  

In the war with snack foods, I don't think I was the loser per se but I certainly wasn't the winner.  I gave up half way through the bag and sent the rest to the trash can.  I imagine the next time I take up arms against dangerous foods like microwave popcorn, old Tootsie rolls, spicy Buffalo Wings or chewy Beef Jerky I hope I'll rethink my battle plan.  Although my personal mantra is "it seemed like a good idea at the time" so I'm probably doomed to repeat the same mistake again...and again...and again.

In summary, Paranormal Activity 4 is a good horror flick, albeit a bit slow at times but there's fun to be had if you're willing to take a chance.  Microwave popcorn, on the other hand, is devil food created by an evil scientist to tear apart your mouth and send you crying to the dentist. 

A Perfect Evening

Once upon a time, the perfect evening involved going out to a fancy restaurant - wining and dining.  Maybe going to see a movie at the theater.  Maybe meeting friends at a bar and drinking too much beer while listening to loud, obnoxious music.  But sometimes the perfect evening can be something much more simple.

Example?  For our anniversary, my wife got me my very own copy of Kung Fu Panda 2.  I know, it's a kids movie but for anyone who knows me...you know I'm a kid at heart.  I loved the first and I love this one.  Now, the movie would typically be enough for me but my wife went one step further.  She had the brilliant idea to order Chinese food and eat it while we watched the two movies.  How cool is that?

So there we were enjoying our own noodles while Po talked about having the noodle dream (even though deep down he was really dreaming about kung fu).  Later on I was smiling and laughing like a buffoon as I watched his crazy antics and when I looked over to see if my wife was having a good time, I found her asleep.  This is not uncommon for her especially on a Friday night but I just smiled to myself and thought, "This is bliss.  This is a perfect evening."

 

Too busy to blog

 "Writing a book is an adventure.  To begin with, it is a toy and an amusement; then it becomes a mistress, and then it becomes a master, and then a tyrant.  The last phase is that just as you are about to be reconciled to your servitude, you kill the monster, and fling him out to the public."  ~ Winston Churchill

"I think I'm about ready to fling this monster...down the toilet." ~ Me