Small Talk Can Get You Killed...

How are you? Those can be very dangerous words. "How are you?" said to the wrong person can become a 45-minute conversation. Especially if it’s somebody you kind of know - maybe some one at work who you thought was cool until you caught him whacking off in the men’s bathroom. And one day you make the mistake of asking: “How are you?” and he says: “Well, Bob, my wife left me because she caught me whacking off in the bathroom. See, I have a toilet bowl fetish. I am physically attracted to toilet bowls. They’re so smooth and porcelain-y. And they have water inside. And when you flush them, the water goes round and round…and oh, God, I’m getting hot. I’ll be right back.”

And small talk is another dangerous thing. Because small talk can quickly lead to big talk if you’re not careful. Perhaps you started the conversation off with: “Man, I hate waiting in line.” And the guy you were innocently talking to says: “What gives you the right to talk to me? Can’t you see I’m busy…and slightly unstable. And I have a pistol in my pocket. And now I’m pulling it out and thrusting it in your face…what do you think about that, Mr. I-Hate-To-Wait-In-Line. Huh? Huh?” And you say: “Please, put down the gun. I was just making small talk.” Because small talk can get you killed.

What ever happened to Wilson? (Cast Away Comedy)

After his watery departure from his first and only friend, Chuck Nolan, Wilson the Volleyball began a life of his own.

　

One day I was taking a walk on the beach and I stumbled upon this fellow…

He told me quite a tale. He said that he swam from some island down in the South Pacific. He fought off sharks, whales, mermaids and space aliens. And, his name is Bob Wilson.  Actually, he was never sure about the first name but he liked Bob so it stuck.  After his rescue, Bob went onto an illustrious career as a shoe salesman.  While on the job, he met his future wife, Kate...

They were married a few years later and before they knew it, they had a growing family.  This is Bob’s son, Tony, who loves the St. Louis Cardinals.

And his daughter, Tabitha.  Her favorite athlete is Venus Williams.

Plus we can't forget about the twins, Ping and Pong.  They're adopted.





I asked Bob if he had a message for folks out there, after all surviving out on the ocean like he did must have left an impression on him.  He merely said that he would never want a different life than the one he had and that if anyone finds Chuck Nolan they should tell him to go fuck himself .  

I've been slacking...

I've been slacking on updating my blog but I've been busy writing my next novel.  I'm still shooting for a finish date of October 31st of this year.  Now whether it's polished or not...that is left to be determined.

However, in the meantime, I've received quite a few rejections for my short stories and two for my novel.  Oh well.  One rejection sounded hopeful, they said I could resubmit my book in six months to a year so I guess that's something.

Anyway, I did stumble across a wonderful Internet tool for anyone else trying to get a story/book published.  It's called Duotrope and it provides useful links to publishers, magazines, contests based on what genre of story they are looking for. 

Here's a link: Duotrope

Laters!